Almost There!

Well, here we are two days before court, four days before going home. Thanks for hanging in with us and praying for us through all of this. We’ll be seeing Juliana just two more days, then that’s it for a month. Tough to think about, but it’s been even tougher being away from Justin & Jonathan the past few weeks. We’re counting the hours until we land at Logan at 5:05 Wednesday evening.

No new video today. We went downtown to go to the internet place but there were no computers available, and there were several people waiting. So, we figured we’d update the blog from the apartment. The dial-up does fine with just text, and handles pictures just barely.

We had lunch yesterday with Laurel Boylan, the American women we met a few days ago in the market who is finishing up the process of adopting two boys. We actually ate at a different restaurant, called “Sit-and-Eat” (in Ukrainian). Lots of food choices served buffet style, and Laurel was able to tell us what most things were, so we were able to try some authentic Ukrainian food. Julie didn’t really care for any of it, though (those that know Julie well know how picky she can be). She says she’s just craving a normal salad, with greens in it, something that seems hard to come by here. I could take or leave most of it, but it was nice to eat something besides pizza and McDonalds for a change. Laurel has been here for 6 weeks, electing to stay after court straight through to the end. She was just waiting for the passports for the boys to be issued by the Ukrainian passport office here, and while we were having lunch she got the call that the passports were finally ready. We were so happy for her. Her husband had left to go home after court three weeks ago, so she’s been on her own with the two boys and her daughter that came with her (ages 4, 6 & 7). She left within 2 hours for Kiev and will be home in California by Thursday. The passports had been promised to her several days ago, but she hit one snag after another. This has just reassured us that we have made the right decision to come back in January. If we tried to finish it up before 12/31, and hit just one delay like Laurel did, we’d be stuck here until after their holidays (1/1 – 1/7). Luba will be taking care of the new birth certificate and passport in our absence and we’ll return once it’s all set.

Things we’re looking forward to: our own bed with a real bottom sheet (ask us about it sometime), a bathroom with the toilet and sink in the same room, being able to talk to Lori every day (this one’s from Julie, of course), being able to walk out of our home without smelling garbage and dodging stray dogs & cats everywhere (though Julie does like to feed them – she’s named one of the dogs “ravioli” and a cat “stinky”), public restrooms with toilet seats (again, ask us sometime), television and radio we can understand, American & Chinese food, having more to read than the five or six books we brought and the two that Luba sent us, high speed internet, and most of all being able to hug and kiss our kids. That’s the short list. ;-)

A few prayer requests for those prayer warriors out there: please pray that everything goes smoothly in court on Monday (we don’t anticipate any problems, but one never knows here), of course pray that Juliana will be safe in our absence, and pray that we’ll be able to get a good deal on our airfare for our return in January and that everything will go smoothly then, as well, and that that trip will be as short as possible (we’re expecting 5-6 days).

Thank you so much, again, for your prayers, posts & support. It has made our time here much more bearable. Thanks again, Mom, for sacrificing so much to stay with our kids all this time. And thanks Steph & Lisa for coming out to help Mom; we knew the boys would wear her down (just kidding). Love & miss you all. We’ll post again after court.

Wanted for Shoplifting

OK, so we suppose the title begs for an explanation. The crime was committed last night, and I (Steve) just wanted to add to my Ukrainian experience by seeing what it would be like to go to jail. Just kidding - it never got that far. However, we were guilty of shoplifting, accidentally. Here's how the dirty deed went down: We went into a small market last night to pick up some juice. There's something we haven't told you about most of the stores around here, and that is the fact that you often need to pay for each item right in the section where you picked it up. In other words, you have to pay for the milk in one place, the bread in another place, the soda somewhere else... you get the picture. So, last night we picked up four cartons of juice and took it to the nearest cashier we saw. She spoke no english, but we were able to discern that she was asking us if we wanted a bag. We said yes, put the juice in the bag, and paid her. I couldn't understand how much she was looking for, but she made it clear that she needed coins, so I held out the pocket change I had and she took some of it. After Julie and I left the store, I said that it just didn't seem like she took enough. I don't think she took more than 50 kopecs or so, which is the equivalent of about a dime. Now, some things are inexpensive here, but not that inexpensive. Julie then asked "do you think that she thought you just wanted a bag, and had already paid for the juice?" Then it all made sense. That's another market quirk here - you have to pay for a bag if you want one. That's all we had paid for. We had bought a bag, loaded it up with stolen merchandise, and left the store. We immediately went back in, pocketed the bag, and found the right place to pay for the juice, standing in line like nothing had happened. Thank God no one had noticed - I can't even imagine what a nightmare it would have been trying to explain the whole situation to the police. So that's our crime of the week; we'll try to keep our noses clean the rest of the time we're here.

We've been dying for Chinese food lately. How twisted is that - Americans in Ukraine craving Chinese takeout? Our food options are somewhat limited and we're getting tired of the same things. The only restaurants we're comfortable going into are a pizza place we found and McDonalds (and Julie doesn't even like McDonalds). The others all have menus in Russian and we could accidentally order chicken liver wrapped in sheep stomach for all we know. We did just find a store around the corner where they sell some prepared foods we recognized (rice & vegetables, things like that), so we'll pick up something there for supper tonight. Oh yeah, not only do they charge for bags at the stores, but they charge for ketchup at McDonalds. Not cheap either - 2 grivna (about 40 cents) for a small packet. Other menu items are actually a little less than in the States, so go figure.

The weather has actually been better here than at home, so you won't hear us complaining about it any more. It's been a little warmer the last few days - high 30's-low 40's - and no snow on the ground.

5 more days to court. We just got a call from Luba and she said that we just got the required approval from the SDA, so court is definitely on. Juliana continues to charm us and bond with us - we've both fallen in love with her and are just so anxious for the whole process to wrap up. Hope you like the new video. Thanks again for your prayers and posts - we look forward to coming home next week.

We Heard Someone Speaking English!

We met a woman in the marketplace today from the States!! It was so refreshing to talk to someone who actually spoke English! She was there finishing up the adoption of two brothers (age 6 & 7) who lived at separate orphanages in this area. She said the living conditions at the older brother’s orphanage were pretty horrible. Outdoor bathrooms, no hot water even for showers, etc. As they move out of the baby home they live in until age four, things go downhill from there. We had heard that was the case – her experience confirms it. This is her second time adopting here in Ukraine. She has two other children she adopted here about a year and a half ago.

Today we gave Juliana a pair of sunglasses to play with. I don’t think that she ever saw any before, because she squealed and laughed every time she put them on. It was adorable. There are so many things she has never seen that we can’t wait to show her. Even just little things that maybe we take for granted, she is just delighted with! It’s fun to see her reactions to new things. Wonder how she’ll do on the plane ride home?!! She’s beginning to get used to her name (we think). Every time we say “Oksana Juliana” she replies “nah nah” in a singsong voice. It’s so cute. Wish we could get it on video (see below). She’s also mastered “bye bye”. We can’t wait for the boys to meet her and to settle her into our family.

We are having serious technological problems and can’t upload any more video for the time being. The software we use to transfer videos from our camera to the PC keeps freezing up on us. Not sure what’s going on there, but we’ll work on it and will hopefully be able to get it straightened out this week. Can’t exactly call customer service from here. :-(

Seven days to court and counting!!! We have come to the decision that we will be coming back for Juliana in January. Although there appears to be a chance that everything (birth certificate, passport, visa) could be done just in time for us to bring her home by 12/31, just one delay in one step of the process would leave us stranded here for an extra 10 days or so due to the holidays (offices here all but close down 12/31 – 1/7 for the new year and orthodox Christmas). It’s going to be really difficult to leave her for almost a month (we’re leaving 12/12 and will probably come back 1/8 or so), but she’ll be fine and happy at the orphanage since that’s all she’s ever known. It will be tough on us, but not really on her. We’ll miss her terribly, but we truly feel, and Luba agrees, that this is the best decision. She said that this is not at all uncommon and it would be her recommendation. In a way, it’s a relief just to have the decision made. We can’t afford for Steve to be out of work any longer than absolutely necessary.

Thank you all, once again, for your comments, e-mails, and especially prayers. We’ve said it already, but we have truly felt God’s direction throughout this process and we are so, so grateful. Another month and we’ll have our daughter home for good. Can’t wait for you all to meet her – she’s really something.

10 Days to court – it just can’t come fast enough. We’re doing OK without Luba, muddling our way through Ukrainian society. Today we’ve decided not to venture into town. We bought enough groceries yesterday to give us several meals, and we’re not going to upload a video today, so we’ll be fine here in the apartment. Had a nice visit with Juliana this morning – brought along a couple of balloons we bought in the market yesterday. Not sure if she’s seen them before, but she definitely got a kick out of me (Steve) blowing them up and letting them go. There’s no doubt, though, that she’s definitely a “mama’s girl” for now. We’ve heard that this is pretty typical, as the only caregivers she’s ever had have been women. She has bonded with Julie very well, loves to be in her lap, loves to be carried. That’s not to say I don’t get any of the action; I get to hold her hand sometimes when we walk, and she’ll give me a hug and kiss hello & goodbye, and she talks about me a lot to the other kids (of course, I have no idea what she’s really saying – “beware of the big, scary papa”?). When we’re sitting on the floor playing, though, she wants to be on Mama.

Shopping is interesting. We know the names of a few things, the rest we try to figure out by sight. Of course, even knowing what to call something is no guarantee. We ran out of milk, so the other night I went into a small store to get some. The milk we had bought previously came in small cartons, maybe 1 liter; must be ultra-pasteurized, because they sell it right off the shelf, no refrigerator. Anyway, this small store didn’t have our usual “brand” so I bought a small bag of it (yes, bag), maybe a pint or so, cost the equivalent of about 45 cents. When we got back to the apartment, we cut it open and this milk both smelled like and tasted like smoked ham. Julie joked that maybe it was pig’s milk. Ha Ha… she could be right. Anyway, we picked up the better stuff yesterday and will give the “pig’s milk” to the local stray cats. Another interesting purchase: a deck of cards. Now, there’s not much for us to do around here when we’re not at the orphanage, besides read and wait for our internet connection, so we thought maybe we could play some card games. We bought a deck at the (huge) outdoor market yesterday. When we opened it, we found that it was complete except for the 2-s through the 5’s. Missing 16 cards. Is this a standard Ukrainian deck? We don’t know. I haven’t called Luba yet to ask her.

We typically ride into town on a “mini” bus (holds 12-20 passengers), and they really do have an extensive bus system here in Mykolayiv, making it pretty easy to get wherever we want to go for about 20 cents each. Yesterday, we got on the bus and sat towards the back – Julie picked the seats, so I am absolved of all blame. There was an awful smell, and Julie was absolutely sick to her stomach most of the 10 minute ride. It wasn’t until he got off the bus that we realized the odor was coming from the man behind us. He was also muttering to himself the whole way, probably saying “I hope the beautiful American woman in front of me notices my cologne”. Gotta find humor where we can.

We’ll try to get into town in the next few days to post some more video. Miss you all, and God bless America.

Another Cold Day in Mykolayiv

It's another cold, windy day here, and we're in town at the post office, which has an internet room as well as phone booths from which we can call to the U.S. (for about $.35/minute or so). Hope you like the new pictures and video.

We had a great visit with Oksana/Juliana this morning and will see her again this afternoon for another hour or so. We've started mixing her new name in with her old one to get her used to it. Yesterday, one of the staff in her group at the orphanage asked us what her American name will be, I think so they can begin doing the same.

I know I've been complaining about the people here being cold and unfriendly. Well, Julie pointed out this morning that they're really not so different from New Englanders. The more I thought about it, the more I think she's right, only here we've got the additional factor of a language barrier. They don't call us the "cold north" for nothing, right?

People have asked us about how big she is, etc. Well, she's two and a half (birthday 4/25/05), but probably isn't any bigger than the average 18-24 month old. She probably doesn't weigh 20 lbs soaking wet. Most of the clothes they put on her seem to be 18-24 months. There's not much to her, but she doesn't seem under-nourished - she'll fill out just fine once she's home. She definitely seems to have a healthy appetite. Oh, and we can definitely attest to the fact that she's a two-year-old. Now that she's grown more accustomed to us, we get treated to a fuller spectrum of her personality. Yes, she can be sweet and gentle, but she can also be stubborn, willful and demanding. This one is a little fireball.

Miss you all and looking forward to coming home in 2 weeks. Will update you again in a couple of days.

13 Days to Court

No real news to report. We are settling into a daily routine of visiting Juliana from 9:30 to 11:00, and 4:00 to 5:00. (By the way, we've decided that her nickname will be "Ana" as opposed to "Julie". Again, pronounced "ahna" not "anna". ) We bring along with us a backpack of toys with legos, dolls, etc. The orphanage has a separate room set aside for meetings like that. We prefer it this way as opposed to the other way where we were in a room with people passing through constantly speaking loudly in Russian either to us or each other. It was a bit more on the stressful side that way.

The orphanage really is very clean and it seems the children are well cared for - some of the staff are actually friendly and smile at us. Of course, that may have something to do with the two new, large rugs we bought for Juliana's group (about 11 or 12 children in her group, about 150 or so in the whole orphanage). Each adoptive family is expected (actually, required) to make a donation to the orphanage. We don't mind it at all because they've been caring for her her whole life and, though the facilities are better than what we expected, there is much that is wearing out and in need of replacement. The rugs were beautiful, about 10x15, and were only $100 each at the local market. Wish we could take one home with us. An additional $500 cash donation was also part of the deal. This orphanage keeps the kids through age 4, then they move on to another facility. We've been told there are 52 orphanages in Ukraine.

Our translator, Luba, has left for Kiev leaving us to navigate through daily life alone, though she is just a cell phone call away if we need her. We won't see her again until the end of next week, so we're really on our own for a good 11 days or so. Of course, we have picked up some basic Russian (which is spoken here more than Ukrainian): yes, no, good, good morning, good day, good evening, goodbye, how much?, please, thank you, you're welcome, ummm.... that's about it. As you can see, we're totally ready for independence :-).

We have learned to utilize the bus system to get into town and will try to consolidate our trips as much as possible. Tomorrow we'll visit with Juliana and then head out for groceries and some time at the internet place. It's not very fast, but is far, far better than what we have here in the apartment; we haven't even been able to post pictures from here the last few days without losing our connection. We'll get some pictures and maybe a new video posted tomorrow, hopefully.

Keep the posts coming - they're a real lifeline to us, making us feel closer to home and all of you while we feel so out of place here. Until next time...

We finally have video! Of course, this twenty second clip took over an hour to upload via our dialup connection, but isn't she adorable? In the video she is playing with a toy we brought her, stringing shapes on a shoelace. She really loves to work with her hands and is very determined to get it right, and do things herself. I think you can see a little bit of her personality even in this short clip.

Nothing really new here. We've kind of gone into a holding pattern, settling into a daily routine as we wait for our court hearing 12/10. We typically spend a couple of hours a day with her, usually an hour in the morning and an hour in the late afternoon. When the weather's not too cold, like today (temp probably around 40) they let us take her outside to play. She loves bubbles - not sure if she had seen them before, but we brought a bottle and, again, she insists on blowing them herself (not too successful, but she lucks out now and then and gets a small one off).

She is favoring mommy a bit over daddy, but does come to Steve for a short time and sits on his lap before returning to mommy's lap for a much longer period of time. She absolutely loves to give kisses and hugs, and calls out "mama dadda" or "mama papa" when we arrive at the orphanage to see her. She likes to take toys in to show the other kids what "mama dadda" brought her, but of course she will not allow them to touch anything, looking is all she'll allow them to do.

We should, hopefully, know by the end of the week whether we will likely be able to get her home before the end of the year. We're both extremely homesick and long for truly hot showers, street signs we can understand, and strangers on the street that don't look like they're perpetually disgusted with us, if they look at us at all. That sterotype of Russians (Ukraine was part of the Soviet Union too) being very stern and unsmiling... true. Trust us. Of course, I'm sure on a personal basis they can be very pleasant - Luba is wonderful, for instance. But as a general rule, very intimidating. Can't wait to see Justin and Jonathan again - we love you guys! We'll all be together for Christmas, thankfully.

Thanks again, everyone for your encouraging posts. You have no idea how precious they are to us. We'll try to post again in the next day or two.